The Mystery of the Missing Pants
by Kawaii-babi
Summary: Roger's pants went missing... What's a guy to do? Kind of a sequel to the sparkle mystery. Dedicated to Breathefromyourhoohoo


_**Disclaimer: **__Still don't own RENT… wish I did… oh well… SCREW YOU GUYS! I'M GOING HOME!_

Roger sat in front of the TV watching Tenacious D And The Pick of Destiny. Well, he wasn't exactly watching it; he was rolling on the floor laughing his ass off. (Who wouldn't? It's too funny!) Roger got off the floor and got back on the couch, only to see Jack Black dressed up as Sasquatch, so he resumed his laughing on the floor. Suddenly, Mimi walked into the loft and saw Roger laughing on the floor, so she started poking him with a ruler.

"OWWW! WHAT THE FUCK MEEMS?" Roger yelled. Mimi shrugged.

"I just felt like poking--- WHAT THE FUCK ROGER? WHERE ARE YOUR PANTS?" Mimi exclaimed.

"I'm wearing them, duh!" Roger said, before looking down at his legs, expecting to see pants, but instead, he saw that he was only wearing and itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini bottom. He quickly grabbed the blanked off the couch and pulled it over his legs to cover himself. Mimi couldn't help but giggle. It was, after all, HER bikini bottom that she had left in his room a week before. She pondered about whether or not he had washed it, but then she put that thought aside and went to the real issue… where are Roger's pants?

"Roger, where are your pants?" Mimi asked. Roger shrugged.

"I dunno… in my drawer?" Roger suggested. Mimi sighed and went to his room.

"Um, Roger? Come here please!" Mimi said. Roger wrapped the blanket around him tighter and he walked to his room to find Mimi in his pants drawer, but no pants were there. He then had a thought.

"Mimi, why are you curled up in a ball in my pants drawer?" Roger asked. Mimi shrugged.

"Pop goes the weasel?" Mimi asked. Roger chuckled and picked her up and out of the drawer.

"You think we should ask someone about it?" Mimi asked. Roger nodded and walked towards the phone. Before he could pick it up, Maureen walked through the door.

"MAUREEN JOHNSON, PRIVATE EYE AT YOUR SERVICE!" Maureen announced. Roger rolled his eyes.

"Mo, not now… I just want to find my pants… I don't have time to deal with your immaturity right now." Roger said impatiently. Maureen scoffed and threw some finger print dust in his face, which made him start sneezing. Mimi growled and slapped Maureen.

"Mo! You know Roger's allergic to this stuff!" Mimi said. Maureen shrugged and walked out of the loft. Mimi ran to the cupboard and began searching for the Claritin when suddenly; there was a knock at the door. She opened it and saw Mark. She flung herself into the pumpkin head's arms and began sobbing. Mark awkwardly patted her back.

"OH MARK! I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE! ROGER'S PANTS WENT MISSING AND MAUREEN THREW THAT FINGER PRINT DUST IN HIS FACE AND I THINK THAT HE'S DYING!" Mimi exclaimed. Mark sighed and pushed her off of him while he dug in his pocket for the Claritin.

"Give him one right now and another in about 4 hours…" Mark said. Mimi nodded and walked over to Roger with the pill in her hand, and she shoved it down his throat. Mark rolled his eyes and walked into his room. Suddenly, there was a very high-pitched scream. Mimi ran to Mark's room and knocked on the door.

"MARK! I think another little girl fell off her tricycle!" Mimi exclaimed. She heard Mark clear his throat nervously.

"Yes, a little girl… of course… no, I didn't just scream…" Mark said as he opened his door. Mimi raised her eyebrow.

"Are you okay Mark?" Mimi asked. Mark nodded. Mimi didn't believe him, so she walked into his room and saw that his pants drawer was opened, but there were no pants in the drawer. She groaned and slapped her forehead.

"Not you too!" Mimi announced. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. She went to the front door and opened it and saw a laundry basket full of pants and a white note on top that said:

'_Dearest Markykins and Rogy-pooh,_

_You guys have been walking around for too long with smelly pants, so I took the initiative (and pleasure) to wash your many pairs of pants. It was hard work, but I washed them all. I got all the stains out, and even sewed the holes in Roger's pants. By the way, Roger, you didn't have to wear that itsy bitsy teeny weenie yellow polka dot bikini that left a little too little to the imagination just for me, you could have simply worn nothing, I would have preferred it… also, when are you going to dump that skank for me? I tell you, she may have a tight little ass, but everyone loves chocolate._

_Much love,_

_Benny-booh'_

Mimi clenched her fist around the letter and stomped into the loft.

"ROGER!" Mimi screeched. Roger got up and walked up to her.

"Yeah?" He asked. Mimi took the lamp and hit him on the head.

"I found your pants." Mimi spat at him. She glued the note to his forehead and dropped all the pants over him, hoping that someone would just walk over him and crush his face.

_THE END _

_I'm thinking about writing another quick mystery thingy… but who and what should I do? You guys vote from these: which character with which object?_

_Maureen  
Angel  
Mimi  
Collins  
Benny_

_Objects:  
Shoes  
Stoli  
Candy  
Your Mom  
Roger  
guitar  
Elsie_


End file.
